Mike Cernovich is one of the most interesting podcasters on the internet. I don't agree with his every utterance, but he is whip smart and he speaks the truth as he sees it. His observations are often very original.
His take on how to manage verbal conflict is especially interesting. You can find it at the itunes store under "Danger and Play Podcast." Look for "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense."
He uses a phrase that seems paraphrased from Epictetus (I think... sometimes I memorize a maxim and then forget who authored it). When somebody lies about him he says "Dude, there's enough true stuff to call me on. Why lie?" Epictetus advises us to use a similar strategy. "It's a good thing he doesn't know me better or he would have had much more to criticise." That's a very liberal paraphrase, but you get the idea.
An extension of this idea is the "agree and amplify" technique, where you take your opponent's insult to a silly conclusion.
"You're fat."
"What? A weather system blew in to my northern hemisphere and garbled your transmission. Could you say that again? Hey, careful of my gravitational field!"
He also recommends a very stoic keeping of one's wits. Don't get mad. When confronted say "Okay, make your points. You done yet? Get it all out."
Mr. Cernovich's views on gender relations, homosexuality, "geek culture" and the like seem to be moderating, a trend that I like to see. Here we have a man who is molding himself in front of us. He is deliberately constructing a better Mike Cernovich and he is doing it out in the open, warts and all. When his views change he says so and he owns his past behavior.
What more could you want in a human being?
We would be much better off if we followed Mr. Cernovich's example and ceased playing verbal "gotcha" with each other. I write this while holding a brown belt in verbal gotcha, so this is a case of "physician heal thyself."
First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
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