Stop When You're Comfortable

Gluttony is a vice. I believe this. I believe that a virtuous person is not a glutton.

I'm a glutton.

I started overeating in the sixth grade. I remember that grade very well; it's when I realised that there were cool kids and uncool kids, and I was in the latter category. Or rather I thought that I was. Turns out thinking a thing like that tends to influence reality, rather than the other way around. Anyway...

I dealt with it by overeating. Why overeating? People who specialize in food addiction tell us that it's the dopamine. When you eat a piece of fruit or meat your brain releases a moderate amount of dopamine to reward you for feeding your body. When you eat a candy bar your body dumps dopamine into your system as a super reward for finding a rare high-calorie treat.

Problem is that, in the past, finding a high calorie treat meant raiding a bee hive. Nowadays it involves swiping a plastic card.

I had a handle on the overeating thing for awhile, but in times of stress I revert. I'm in a stressful situation now and I'm reverting. I eat past the point of comfort. I eat until I'm NOT comfortable. It actually hurts.

"First decide what you would be; then do what you have to do."

I would be a man in control of his appetites. How to do that?

Authority Nutrition has a post describing food addiction. It details how the brain becomes tolerant of dopamine and how breaking the addictive cycle means that there will be a withdrawal process. I've been "withdrawing" for three days now, and I don't feel anything, but I do think that there's something to this idea of dopamine use. Why else would I eat to the point of discomfort?

The idea that we can become "addicted" to food seems silly at first glance. It seems like psychobabble designed to reinforce the idea that we are all victims. When I think like this, though, what I'm really doing is worrying that I am weak, that if I submit myself to this it will chip away at my confidence.

So when I think about overeating I will remind myself that I'm craving dopamine. I'll do something else. Pushups are good; writing is good. Yoga is good. These are positive uses of time. How good does soda taste, anyway? Tastes salty and rusty.

Look, if overeating is an addictive process then it is. If it is simply a bad habit then it is. I can worry about my confidence or I can do something about it. I can worry about what YOU, gentle reader, will think of me and my weakness or I can accept that I am a flawed human being and I can improve myself.

I will cheerfully confront my problem and defeat it with a glad heart. Or not. Maybe I'll white-knuckle it and fail a hundred times before I beat it, and then appreciate my victory later. It is what it is. The main thing is that I don't want to be a glutton anymore.

First decide what you would be; and then do what you have to do.

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Public domain image courtesy of the New York Public Library


Post Script: Step 1 is to cut out sugar... No soda, no sugar in my coffee (yes I'm addicted to coffee... one at a time, people, one at a time)