On Losing One's Mojo

My advice to a reddit user who had lost his mojo:

So there was an incident. You got sucked in. You made mistakes.

That's in the past now. You can't change it, so you might as well get something out of it, right? And besides, did you think that you're a sage? You're not. I'm not. Nobody on this forum is. So these things are going to happen. You will never be perfect; you'll just approach perfection, if you study and practice regularly.

I would make a T-chart. I'd actually write it in pen and paper. It helps focus the mind (like Marcus's journaling). On the left write "What did I learn?" On the right write "What can I fix?"

Perhaps you learned that you would rather not express political opinions when you don't have to, because nobody gets much out of it. Perhaps you can somewhat fix things by apologizing to Ted. By the way, if you apologize I recommend doing it once, completely, and then never again. They accept it or they don't, but groveling won't help anyone.

You seem like a person who might hold himself to a high standard. That is certainly useful, but then again there is a freedom in realizing that you're not perfect and you never will be. Accepting this lets you view yourself with some sympathy. Like Seneca says, it allows you to become a better friend to yourself. As Stoics we are to be kind to our fellow people, but we are also called to be kind to ourselves. Correcting our faults need not come with a big dose of guilt. Look at the Meditations; here's a man who is honest with himself without beating himself up. He writes to himself as he would write to a close friend.

As for your work schedule, your diet, your working out etc. I would view this as an opportunity. It's good training. If you can force yourself to muster some discipline and follow a schedule in the bad times it will be MUCH easier to do in the good times. It will build character and expand the soul.

And consider this: 1.5 months ago when you were happily rolling along were you REALLY being tested? Were you REALLY developing as a person? Perhaps you were, but not as much as you are about to. Easy living is NOT what builds a life, right? This is. This is where a strong soul is forged. How else would it happen? How can you grow if you're never tested?

Since I am a Stoic theist* I'd also say that God has given us the tools we need to achieve virtue. Epictetus said this too. You have all you need. It's reassuring when you think about it like that.

Finally I would be really interested to hear back from you. Did any of our advice work? Did you learn something that we can use? Please keep in touch. Better yet maybe start a blog and let us follow your progress. Watching somebody break through (and you WILL break through) is heartening.

*No offense to my atheist brothers and sisters! Big tent! Big tent!