John Pugliano runs a very interesting website geared toward getting people independently wealthy. His views on investment are deeply rooted in reason and, I suspect, philosophy. He seems to be a moderate libertarian.
"Overcome your natural tendency to fear new things."
"The entrenched powers will always lose. It happens every time."
"Embrace innovation."
He is a sort of optimistic fatalist. We embrace change or change stomps us. It's like the dog tied to the cart. Run along with it or let it drag you, but that's reality. And for all the destruction of capitalism we live in unprecedented luxury.
He views investment as "wealthsteading." He sees it as a way to carve out a self-sustaining plot of money (rather than land, like the original homesteaders) and thereby win freedom to choose one's way of life.
Worth a look.
First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
Showing posts with label Modern Culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Modern Culture. Show all posts
Monday, February 15, 2016
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Who Is The Establishment?
Who is the establishment? I grew up a Reagan Republican, but when I went to college I was indoctrinated with the 1960's era view that business fat cats were running things and that the Democrats were a sort of watchdog holding them in check, just barely.
Now I don't know. When the pendulum swings too far to the right you get authoritarianism, but then again if it swings too far to the left you get... authoritarianism.
There is that oft-used quote by Voltaire: "To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize."
There's wisdom in that, but then again we live in an age where we have accepted that some people really are disadvantaged by circumstance, and it has become unfashionable to pile on. And it should be unfashionable.
But as I grow older I begin to see that anything can be taken too far.
In a perfect Stoic utopia, in Zeno's utopia, people would regulate themselves. If everyone truly pursued virtue then so much of what complicates modern life wouldn't find nourishment.
But that's not going to happen, not until the far future, maybe not ever. This is what we have.
With that in mind, all public policy should serve these ends: people should not be held back because of the circumstance of their birth, people should be allowed to make maximum use of their potential, and we should all have some concern for each other's well being. We need to abide by some common sense laws and we need a culture that teaches us to be decent to each other. Questions of sexuality, identity and religion are for the individual to work out. Do what you like, just don't do it to me.
And if I could snap my fingers and turn all of us blue I would.
Now I don't know. When the pendulum swings too far to the right you get authoritarianism, but then again if it swings too far to the left you get... authoritarianism.
There is that oft-used quote by Voltaire: "To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize."
There's wisdom in that, but then again we live in an age where we have accepted that some people really are disadvantaged by circumstance, and it has become unfashionable to pile on. And it should be unfashionable.
But as I grow older I begin to see that anything can be taken too far.
In a perfect Stoic utopia, in Zeno's utopia, people would regulate themselves. If everyone truly pursued virtue then so much of what complicates modern life wouldn't find nourishment.
But that's not going to happen, not until the far future, maybe not ever. This is what we have.
With that in mind, all public policy should serve these ends: people should not be held back because of the circumstance of their birth, people should be allowed to make maximum use of their potential, and we should all have some concern for each other's well being. We need to abide by some common sense laws and we need a culture that teaches us to be decent to each other. Questions of sexuality, identity and religion are for the individual to work out. Do what you like, just don't do it to me.
And if I could snap my fingers and turn all of us blue I would.
Monday, January 18, 2016
Mel Gibson: Not A Nazi
Allison Hope Weiner has penned a very brave essay about a man she "vilified" in the pages of The New York Times and Entertainment Weekly: Mel Gibson.
Weiner, an observant Jew, actually befriended Gibson. It's a real friendship. She met his family. He attended religious services with hers. They speak regularly. She likes him.
He doesn't publicly defend himself; he just explains. He doesn't think it would help. He just "shrugs his shoulders." Weiner wishes that he WOULD hit back. She says he's made himself into the perfect punching bag. Has he? I don't know, but he does sound as if he's become a bit of a Stoic.
After the incidents which led to his exile he vowed to meet with Jewish leaders and he did, but he refused to publicize the fact. He attempted to make a film about the Maccabee rebellion but the script wasn't good (which is a pity, because good LORD would that have been a good movie). He's shown every sign of penitence but he hasn't told anybody about it.
Weiner thinks he's suffered too much, that he's been treated unfairly and that he should get another shot.
Now, what astonishes me is that this piece was written at all. Who does this? Who bothers, in this day and age, to take a real look at the target of one's loathing and, having gained perspective, reconsider? Weiner shows real courage, and Gibson plays his end exactly as I hope I would given his circumstances.
Well done to both of them. This is virtue, friends.
In related news, watch Mr. Gibson's shrug in action here (profanity... NSFW):
I think that he acquited himself very well.
Weiner, an observant Jew, actually befriended Gibson. It's a real friendship. She met his family. He attended religious services with hers. They speak regularly. She likes him.
He doesn't publicly defend himself; he just explains. He doesn't think it would help. He just "shrugs his shoulders." Weiner wishes that he WOULD hit back. She says he's made himself into the perfect punching bag. Has he? I don't know, but he does sound as if he's become a bit of a Stoic.
After the incidents which led to his exile he vowed to meet with Jewish leaders and he did, but he refused to publicize the fact. He attempted to make a film about the Maccabee rebellion but the script wasn't good (which is a pity, because good LORD would that have been a good movie). He's shown every sign of penitence but he hasn't told anybody about it.
Weiner thinks he's suffered too much, that he's been treated unfairly and that he should get another shot.
Now, what astonishes me is that this piece was written at all. Who does this? Who bothers, in this day and age, to take a real look at the target of one's loathing and, having gained perspective, reconsider? Weiner shows real courage, and Gibson plays his end exactly as I hope I would given his circumstances.
Well done to both of them. This is virtue, friends.
In related news, watch Mr. Gibson's shrug in action here (profanity... NSFW):
I think that he acquited himself very well.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Honor, Dignity and Victimhood
The Art Of Manliness recently published a podcast about our society's move to a victim culture. It's worth a look if you're interested in this sort of thing.
In Episode 153 Brett talks to two sociologists about honor and dignity. Honor in this context means having a reputation for physical courage and a willingness to retaliate. Honor cultures tend to form where the rule of law is thin on the ground. The Southern United States, for example, has a higher per capita incidence of violence than the North and it also (I think) has fewer police officers per capita. As a consequence honor is more a cultural feature in the South than in the North.
One might also point out that honor is more a feature of life in the West. Aggrieved ranchers in rural Oregon, for example, might see percieved abuses of power by the federal government as a matter of honor and in response stage an armed revolution. Not much law enforcement activity out in the vast open spaces of the West... I don't know how true that is, but there does seem to me to be something to it.
A dignity culture can develop where there is strong state authority. In a dignity culture serious insults or abuses are referred to the state, and minor slights and insults are ignored. The difference is that in an honor culture ignoring insults signals weakness and brings more abuse, while in contrast in a dignity culture ignoring minor slights is a sign of self-control and maturity. Responding in kind is undignified; it means lowering oneself to "their" level.
Most of us would much rather live in a dignity culture. In an honor culture things can get out of hand quickly. If a member of one group insults the member of another there will be violence. Then there will be an endless chain of revenge killings. Feuding, in other words. This broadly describes the behavior of street gangs and genocidal tribal conflicts. That's no good.
Much better to live under the rule of law. Stoicism developed under the rule of law, yes? Is Stoicism the product of civilization? Can people living in an honor culture be Stoic?
I think so, but there may be consequences. On the other hand perhaps a Stoic would recognize the need to function in an honor culture for the good of the tribe or clan. Stoics did soldier for their country, after all. Marcus Aurelius slaughtered a generation of Germans for Rome.
Brett brings up an interesting point in view of this; nation states function in an honor culture, not a dignity culture, even though within the state the citizens are expected to maintain a dignity culture.
On to victim cultures... the idea here is that words actually damage people. It's as if we all have a mental health score and people can reduce that score with things like micro agressions.
Micro aggressions are hidden aggressions against minorities and people of color. They range from genuinely rude behavior (such as asking a Caucasian woman if her darker skinned child is "really hers") to using terms like "politically correct." Political correctness is no longer politically correct. Being male and taking up too much space on a bus is a micro aggression. Stating that one is for meritocracy is a micro aggression. Wearing a kimono is a micro aggression.
A victim culture combines honor and dignity cultures. Minor slights are dealt with harshly and instantly, as in an honor culture, but the retaliatory violence is done by the state rather than by the individual, as in a dignity culture.
Claiming victimhood in victim cultures, then, actually brings status and power. Claims of victimhood are incentivized. Victims have the power to do violence to people without having to display physical courage. Violence for free!
Lying is also incentivized in victim cultures. Micro aggressions are given serious consideration when there aren't macro agressions to fight, but macro aggressions are preferable. Sometimes people make up macro aggressions. People lie and claim victimhood even when they haven't been victimized. Even when these hoaxes are made public the response from the victim culture is "yes, it was a hoax, but it raises a serious point."
Brett's sociologist guests seem to assert that we generally live in a dignity culture, but that college campuses are often full-blown victim subcultures.
Saturday, January 2, 2016
On The Stoicism Of Henry Rollins
Henry Rollins does not dodge responsibility for his choices. When he says something he means it. He risks. I admire that.
Take for example his 2014 rant against suicide, in which he paints people who kill themselves as selfish. He took a lot of heat for that. He considered the criticism, agreed, and published a full apology. He writes: "To those I offended, I believe you and I apologize. If what I wrote causes you to toss me out of your boat, it is to my great regret, but I understand and thank you for your thoughts."
In the minds of people I don't want to be like this could be seen as weakness, but of course it's strength*. It's Stoic.
Take for example his 2014 rant against suicide, in which he paints people who kill themselves as selfish. He took a lot of heat for that. He considered the criticism, agreed, and published a full apology. He writes: "To those I offended, I believe you and I apologize. If what I wrote causes you to toss me out of your boat, it is to my great regret, but I understand and thank you for your thoughts."
In the minds of people I don't want to be like this could be seen as weakness, but of course it's strength*. It's Stoic.
I have always been very impressed with Henry Rollins. If you aren't familiar with his work he began his public life as the lead singer of a punk band called "Black Flag." He went on to form his own band and from there branched out into print, screen and stage. He's a sort of rennaisance man of the 21st century.
He is a charismatic figure to be sure; he has an intensity about him that you don't find very often. He's also eccentric for a man in his position. He lifts weights as a philosophical exercise (there's no hint of vanity about him) and he refuses to drink, smoke or take drugs. That must make him something of an oddball in the entertainment industry.
He spends his life traveling the world and bringing stories of other lands back to the West. He tells us these stories at "spoken word" shows. His performances have a lot in common with standup comedy but comedy is not the goal; comedy is the vehicle he uses to transmit his message.
And what is his message? He wants us to open our eyes to the rest of the world and love our fellow human beings.
If you take in enough of Rollins' work you will begin to notice something; he's never ironic. He is the anti-hipster. He is aboslutely, completely sincere. Watch this interview and you'll see what I mean:
Nardwar is a character. Rollins clearly thinks that playing such a character is at the least a waste of time, but he contains himself. To each his own.
Compare this to an earlier interview with Nardwar:
What we see here is a man who has learned to step outside of himself and evaluate his own thoughts. Does this make him a Stoic? No, I don't think so, but he certainly has found some Stoic techniques. He feels intensely; he values emotion. He sees anger as a tramsformational force. If we all get angry enough we'll change the world. Maybe he's right. It's not the Stoic way, but I like it. I prefer my way, but it's interesting.
Here is an encounter between Rollins and some New York hipsters which illustrates his sincerity:
Is his response Stoic? I'd say it is in the sense that he doesn't fear his antagonists and in that he stands up for what he believes. There is an aggressiveness there, though, that probably isn't Stoic. On the other hand Zeno is recorded as having launched some verbal barbs at the young and beautiful of his day. Here's a famous one from Diogenes:
"A young man was talking a great deal of nonsense, and he said to him, 'This is the reason why we have two ears and only one mouth, that we may hear more and speak less."
So I would argue that Rollins is not a natural Stoic, but that he embodies certain Stoic ideals, and that emulating him might be useful to a Stoic. As Seneca says of Epicurus, the founder of a rival philosophy: "Epicurus is worth listening to, and his wise sayings should be regarded not as Epicurus' alone but as common and public property."
*If you write for an audience you are going to get feedback, and sometimes that will lead you to change your mind. Sometimes it won't. Admitting the fact when it does is strength. Apologizing simply because people complain is not. Rollins shows strength in his apology.
So I would argue that Rollins is not a natural Stoic, but that he embodies certain Stoic ideals, and that emulating him might be useful to a Stoic. As Seneca says of Epicurus, the founder of a rival philosophy: "Epicurus is worth listening to, and his wise sayings should be regarded not as Epicurus' alone but as common and public property."
* * *
*If you write for an audience you are going to get feedback, and sometimes that will lead you to change your mind. Sometimes it won't. Admitting the fact when it does is strength. Apologizing simply because people complain is not. Rollins shows strength in his apology.
Best Of Enemies
Best Of Enemies, available on Netflix, is a fascinating look at the debates between Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley Jr. during the 1968 Republican Convention.
I'll leave you to it. Let me just say that for me the most interesting bit is the end. Buckley, the patrician libertarian, regrets something unnamed and says that he is tired of life. The film implies that what he regrets is losing his temper on national television and calling Vidal a "queer" after Vidal called him a "crypto-fascist." Mr. Buckley died in 2008.
Before Vidal, the patrician progressive, died in 2012 he told the ghost of William F. Buckley to "RIP... in Hell." An associate of Vidal's tells us that he loved the fact that he got the last word.
I really like Vidal's work, and in terms of both cognitive ability and talent for writing he eclipses me (as does Buckley, by a wide margin). His Julian is fantastic. Still, if I have my choice I'd rather go out like Buckley. I'd rather know that I should have done better than glory in the fact that I died last.
Either way both men were brilliant and both were principled. I admire Buckley's belief in personal responsibility and I admire Vidal's willingness question received wisdom.
The moral of the film, though, is that our toxic modern politics originates with these two.
Maybe...
I'll leave you to it. Let me just say that for me the most interesting bit is the end. Buckley, the patrician libertarian, regrets something unnamed and says that he is tired of life. The film implies that what he regrets is losing his temper on national television and calling Vidal a "queer" after Vidal called him a "crypto-fascist." Mr. Buckley died in 2008.
Before Vidal, the patrician progressive, died in 2012 he told the ghost of William F. Buckley to "RIP... in Hell." An associate of Vidal's tells us that he loved the fact that he got the last word.
I really like Vidal's work, and in terms of both cognitive ability and talent for writing he eclipses me (as does Buckley, by a wide margin). His Julian is fantastic. Still, if I have my choice I'd rather go out like Buckley. I'd rather know that I should have done better than glory in the fact that I died last.
Either way both men were brilliant and both were principled. I admire Buckley's belief in personal responsibility and I admire Vidal's willingness question received wisdom.
The moral of the film, though, is that our toxic modern politics originates with these two.
Maybe...
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Shame-based Ethical Enforcement
In this brave new world we seem to be working out a new system of morality, and that system seems to be shame-based. Stoicism might be a good response to that. A personal example:
I recently stuck to an opinion in the face of adversity.
I respect the other side very much; they're some of my best friends, but we had a genuine disagreement. It was a very minor thing that blew up into a very big thing. I'm responsible for a good part of that... I wasn't very Stoic. My words were measured but my tone wasn't. I didn't resort to ad hominem and I didn't say anything offensive, but when they got loud so did I. Or maybe I got loud first? I can't remember.
They asserted that no reasonable person could possibly disagree with them. They ascribed personal motives to my position. They questioned my character.
I did not apologize and I didn't act shamed and it seems to have immediately died down into nothing.
"SHAME ON YOU!"
"No thanks."
"Oh, OK then... could you pass the coffee?"
It was bizarre.
This happened once before. There was shame, I didn't act shamed, then there was reasoned discussion and I changed my mind. They seemed surprised, because I didn't hold a grudge. I treated them exactly as I had before.
Well, a Stoic looks at criticism and assents or not. That time I assented. This time I did not.
Be the purple thread.
I recently stuck to an opinion in the face of adversity.
I respect the other side very much; they're some of my best friends, but we had a genuine disagreement. It was a very minor thing that blew up into a very big thing. I'm responsible for a good part of that... I wasn't very Stoic. My words were measured but my tone wasn't. I didn't resort to ad hominem and I didn't say anything offensive, but when they got loud so did I. Or maybe I got loud first? I can't remember.
They asserted that no reasonable person could possibly disagree with them. They ascribed personal motives to my position. They questioned my character.
I did not apologize and I didn't act shamed and it seems to have immediately died down into nothing.
"SHAME ON YOU!"
"No thanks."
"Oh, OK then... could you pass the coffee?"
It was bizarre.
This happened once before. There was shame, I didn't act shamed, then there was reasoned discussion and I changed my mind. They seemed surprised, because I didn't hold a grudge. I treated them exactly as I had before.
Well, a Stoic looks at criticism and assents or not. That time I assented. This time I did not.
Be the purple thread.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
The Good Men Project
Some of the bloggers I've read view The Good Men Project as a genuine exploration of what it means to be masculine in the 21st century (that's certainly how TGMP sees itself). Others consider it to be a propaganda arm of the feminist movement, a sort of Pravda to be consumed by the non-ovarian set.
I've never actually read it... until now!
What follows are my impressions, recorded as I read. It's this sort of investigative journalism that has earned me more than 2 cents in ad revenue, folks.
1. First off, in the "About" section the publishers tell us that:
"Guys today are neither the mindless, sex-obsessed buffoons nor the stoic automatons our culture so often makes them out to be. Our community is smart, compassionate, curious, and open-minded; they strive to be good fathers and husbands, citizens and friends, to lead by example at home and in the workplace, and to understand their role in a changing world. The Good Men Project is a place where that happens. We’re glad to have you along for the ride."
Here "stoic" is used with the lower case "s," which seems to mean "without emotion." We Stoics would say that acceptable emotions include joy, wishing and caution, emotions which contribute to the admirable state of mind which follows "Our community" in the above paragraph. In fact the ideal discussed in this paragraph would seem to describe, at least in part, the ideal Stoic sage.
2. Moving on to the front page, the following headlines catch my eye:
"How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup"
"Task 50 of 52: Good Men Mind Their P's And Q's"
"The Limitless Joy Of Never Fully Knowing Your Significant Other"
"Why Passion Is Overrated"
"They Don't Have To Be Your Out-laws"
"Men Need Healthy Role Models-Make Your Voice Heard"
"See Yourself As She Sees You-Real Is Sexy"
"Co-Parenting: It Doesn't Have To Be Difficult"
"Why Women Are Smarter Than Men"
"In Appreciation: An Open Letter To All The Good Men In The World"
These really are the headlines that jumped out at me, though you don't know that for certain. As far as you know I cherry picked them. So with that in mind, TGMP is marketed to this guy (let's call him Ted):
Ted has known some pain in his life. He's divorced and has had a hard time getting over his ex. He has a new relationship, though, and he's eager to maintain some mystery with her/him. He needs to! He's a little confused about how to be "sexy" for her/him, if we're being honest.
Ted has anxiety. He doesn't get along with his in-laws but he wants to. The ex has proven difficult to co-parent his 2.3 children with, but he's willing to work with her/him.
Ted is not content. He's searching for something, for a way forward in the 21st century. He wants men to look up to, men who can show him the way. He wants to be a good man, and good men are a rare commodity these days. What defines "good," though? He's here to learn the answer to that question.
I KNOW Ted. I know lots of Teds. I don't think that I am Ted, but maybe I used to be.
For your reading pleasure I'll delve more deeply into the headlines and deliver to you my "take-away." Any reactions I have will be listed in blue. Keep in mind that these are only one man's impressions. I've been wrong before.
3. "How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup"
Use stress hormones to motivate you to exercise, take up new hobbies and launch new creative endeavors. Then be honest with yourself as to why you broke up. Love yourself, feel your emotions fully, forgive the other party and be grateful that the relationship happened at all.
As a Stoic I'd probably tell myself that relationships often end. I'd do a review of my own actions, change what needs to be changed, deny assent to the idea that anything tragic has happened and move on.
4. "Task 50 of 52: Good Men Mind Their P's And Q's"
Standard traditional American manners... your great grandfather would agree with this.
Follow these rules or don't. There's some good stuff here. One thing stands out, though: "don't ogle the women." If by "ogle" the author means barking like a dog in a Looney Toons cartoon, fair enough. If he means "don't notice that women are physically attractive" then I wonder how guys would get girlfriends at all. I hope he doesn't mean that we should be ashamed of our sexuality...
5. "The Limitless Joy Of Never Fully Knowing Your Significant Other"
The author finds familiarity stultifying. When a relationship becomes routine it ends. To prevent this we must enter an ego-less state which in my view strongly resembles Zen Buddhism. As a dispassionate observer we will realize the limitless otherness in our partner and never be bored again.
Stoics find joy in virtue, not in an endless feeling of mystery centered around one person. According to the author he's felt endless mystery for his partner for three and a half years, though, so what do I know? Good luck, pal.
6. "Why Passion Is Overrated"
The author begins with a poker analogy and defines "passion" as shoving all your chips in and hoping for the best. He's a fair poker player, and it was curiosity rather than passion which led him to that pursuit and which helps him to beat "passionate" players. In his regular life he bet his future on naval aviation and a wife and neither worked out, leaving him miserable. He then worked for a phone company an enjoyed it but got laid off. He started a business but it failed. Finally curiosity about a distant couple dancing in a gazebo drew him to the tango. He started a non-profit to promote tango and achieved happiness. Passion flames out but curiosity lasts.
This sounds pretty Stoic in that he avoids passions, but not very Stoic in that his happiness depends on his external circumstances. I admire how this guy keeps bouncing back. And he's found a way to make a living off of the tango. That's impressive. The tango!
7. "They Don't Have To Be Your Out-laws"
Play your cards close to your chest. Don't play family politics and don't say things that people will disagree with. You can pull it together for a couple of days per year, can't you?
Solid advice. In my experience there is no hill I'm willing to die on at a family reunion. I like to find one or two very interesting, open people, people who don't mind a polite disagreement should one arise but who aren't looking for one, and spend most of my time with them.
8. "Men Need Healthy Role Models-Make Your Voice Heard"
Please submit pieces to us about how you overcame health problems.
If I ever overcome one I'll do that! I'm serious; this thing isn't half bad.
9. "See Yourself As She Sees You-Real Is Sexy"
This one vanished as I read other articles... or it didn't and I just have attention problems. I can't find it, though. So let's do "Don't Let Gender Expectations Ruin Your Marriage."
John Gray, of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" fame, exaggerates gender differences and it has made him very popular, but he's wrong. Society pushes men into traditonal, harmful masculinity. Women participating in casual male-bashing doesn't help. Society should let men be vulnerable. It is frustrating that many women seem to want the old, masculine man and not the vulnerable new man. Women are still judged by the old feminine standard even though they have been encouraged to abandon it. All of this produces power struggles. The key to resolve these is a mix of patience, negotiation, and assuming the best of the other party.
There's a lot more to this article... a lot to digest. My immediate reaction is that, according to the author, women find bad boys sexy but they shouldn't. Attraction can be negotiated. I'm skeptical.
10. "Co-Parenting: It Doesn't Have To Be Difficult!"
Communicate, negotiate, and keep the kid's best interests in mind. If that fails get a mediator.
My aunt does this. She's brilliant at it; best step-mom in the world. Solid advice.
11. "Why Women Are Smarter Than Men"
Women score higher in emotional intelligence (EQ) than men, and EQ is critical in suceeding in the work place. To raise your EQ don't drink caffiene and do get more sleep. Don't be too hard on yourself and be grateful for what you have.
On the other hand caffeine is a cognitive booster, so if you want to be slightly more abrasive but have slightly better ideas visit Starbucks. Are women better at relationships? I'll have to look around and see if I can find evidence of that in my daily life. Maybe they are!
12. "In Appreciation: An Open Letter To All The Good Men In The World"
The author is grateful to the men who taught her lessons and brought her to her current high level of relationship happiness. A good man, in her view, is one who:
Will take care of his partner. Will smile, hug, give a back rub, share in the house work. Will call in the middle of the day just to say Hi. Will empower his partner to be all that he/she can be. Will be there for his children, and nurture them to help them be all that they can be. Will be proud if his partner makes more money than he does. He knows the job does not define the man. Will occasionally surprise his partner, in a good way. Will make plans for the future, both long and short term. Will listen, hear and understands with his heart. Will protect his partner, and family. Will serenade his partner. Will sit and let his partner cry it out, or stamp his/her feet until it is all out. Will have done some of his work, and will be there for his partner while they work through their own stuff. Will build things, fix things, invent things. Will have his own life, his own hobbies, his own sense of worth. Will not depend on his partner for his financial life or his emotional life, now [sic] will he want his partner to be his reason for living.
Source
Here's where I fall short, according to the author: making plans for the future, listening, serenading, and sitting and letting her cry it out. She lists twenty-six standards, and I meet twenty-two of them. Not bad! I wonder of my partner would give me 22/26? Perhaps I've just deluded myself.
I'd like to see a list of characteristics of the ideal woman from this author. She must be pretty spectacular to land this sort of guy.
So there you have it! I agreed with some things and disagreed with others. As Seneca says, all good ideas are public property, so I'll take the good and leave the bad.
All in all I was pleasantly surprised. This is an interesting site. I'll be back.
I've never actually read it... until now!
What follows are my impressions, recorded as I read. It's this sort of investigative journalism that has earned me more than 2 cents in ad revenue, folks.
1. First off, in the "About" section the publishers tell us that:
"Guys today are neither the mindless, sex-obsessed buffoons nor the stoic automatons our culture so often makes them out to be. Our community is smart, compassionate, curious, and open-minded; they strive to be good fathers and husbands, citizens and friends, to lead by example at home and in the workplace, and to understand their role in a changing world. The Good Men Project is a place where that happens. We’re glad to have you along for the ride."
Here "stoic" is used with the lower case "s," which seems to mean "without emotion." We Stoics would say that acceptable emotions include joy, wishing and caution, emotions which contribute to the admirable state of mind which follows "Our community" in the above paragraph. In fact the ideal discussed in this paragraph would seem to describe, at least in part, the ideal Stoic sage.
2. Moving on to the front page, the following headlines catch my eye:
"How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup"
"Task 50 of 52: Good Men Mind Their P's And Q's"
"The Limitless Joy Of Never Fully Knowing Your Significant Other"
"Why Passion Is Overrated"
"They Don't Have To Be Your Out-laws"
"Men Need Healthy Role Models-Make Your Voice Heard"
"See Yourself As She Sees You-Real Is Sexy"
"Co-Parenting: It Doesn't Have To Be Difficult"
"Why Women Are Smarter Than Men"
"In Appreciation: An Open Letter To All The Good Men In The World"
These really are the headlines that jumped out at me, though you don't know that for certain. As far as you know I cherry picked them. So with that in mind, TGMP is marketed to this guy (let's call him Ted):
Ted has known some pain in his life. He's divorced and has had a hard time getting over his ex. He has a new relationship, though, and he's eager to maintain some mystery with her/him. He needs to! He's a little confused about how to be "sexy" for her/him, if we're being honest.
Ted has anxiety. He doesn't get along with his in-laws but he wants to. The ex has proven difficult to co-parent his 2.3 children with, but he's willing to work with her/him.
Ted is not content. He's searching for something, for a way forward in the 21st century. He wants men to look up to, men who can show him the way. He wants to be a good man, and good men are a rare commodity these days. What defines "good," though? He's here to learn the answer to that question.
I KNOW Ted. I know lots of Teds. I don't think that I am Ted, but maybe I used to be.
For your reading pleasure I'll delve more deeply into the headlines and deliver to you my "take-away." Any reactions I have will be listed in blue. Keep in mind that these are only one man's impressions. I've been wrong before.
3. "How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup"
Use stress hormones to motivate you to exercise, take up new hobbies and launch new creative endeavors. Then be honest with yourself as to why you broke up. Love yourself, feel your emotions fully, forgive the other party and be grateful that the relationship happened at all.
As a Stoic I'd probably tell myself that relationships often end. I'd do a review of my own actions, change what needs to be changed, deny assent to the idea that anything tragic has happened and move on.
4. "Task 50 of 52: Good Men Mind Their P's And Q's"
Standard traditional American manners... your great grandfather would agree with this.
Follow these rules or don't. There's some good stuff here. One thing stands out, though: "don't ogle the women." If by "ogle" the author means barking like a dog in a Looney Toons cartoon, fair enough. If he means "don't notice that women are physically attractive" then I wonder how guys would get girlfriends at all. I hope he doesn't mean that we should be ashamed of our sexuality...
5. "The Limitless Joy Of Never Fully Knowing Your Significant Other"
The author finds familiarity stultifying. When a relationship becomes routine it ends. To prevent this we must enter an ego-less state which in my view strongly resembles Zen Buddhism. As a dispassionate observer we will realize the limitless otherness in our partner and never be bored again.
Stoics find joy in virtue, not in an endless feeling of mystery centered around one person. According to the author he's felt endless mystery for his partner for three and a half years, though, so what do I know? Good luck, pal.
6. "Why Passion Is Overrated"
The author begins with a poker analogy and defines "passion" as shoving all your chips in and hoping for the best. He's a fair poker player, and it was curiosity rather than passion which led him to that pursuit and which helps him to beat "passionate" players. In his regular life he bet his future on naval aviation and a wife and neither worked out, leaving him miserable. He then worked for a phone company an enjoyed it but got laid off. He started a business but it failed. Finally curiosity about a distant couple dancing in a gazebo drew him to the tango. He started a non-profit to promote tango and achieved happiness. Passion flames out but curiosity lasts.
This sounds pretty Stoic in that he avoids passions, but not very Stoic in that his happiness depends on his external circumstances. I admire how this guy keeps bouncing back. And he's found a way to make a living off of the tango. That's impressive. The tango!
7. "They Don't Have To Be Your Out-laws"
Play your cards close to your chest. Don't play family politics and don't say things that people will disagree with. You can pull it together for a couple of days per year, can't you?
Solid advice. In my experience there is no hill I'm willing to die on at a family reunion. I like to find one or two very interesting, open people, people who don't mind a polite disagreement should one arise but who aren't looking for one, and spend most of my time with them.
8. "Men Need Healthy Role Models-Make Your Voice Heard"
Please submit pieces to us about how you overcame health problems.
If I ever overcome one I'll do that! I'm serious; this thing isn't half bad.
9. "See Yourself As She Sees You-Real Is Sexy"
This one vanished as I read other articles... or it didn't and I just have attention problems. I can't find it, though. So let's do "Don't Let Gender Expectations Ruin Your Marriage."
John Gray, of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" fame, exaggerates gender differences and it has made him very popular, but he's wrong. Society pushes men into traditonal, harmful masculinity. Women participating in casual male-bashing doesn't help. Society should let men be vulnerable. It is frustrating that many women seem to want the old, masculine man and not the vulnerable new man. Women are still judged by the old feminine standard even though they have been encouraged to abandon it. All of this produces power struggles. The key to resolve these is a mix of patience, negotiation, and assuming the best of the other party.
There's a lot more to this article... a lot to digest. My immediate reaction is that, according to the author, women find bad boys sexy but they shouldn't. Attraction can be negotiated. I'm skeptical.
10. "Co-Parenting: It Doesn't Have To Be Difficult!"
Communicate, negotiate, and keep the kid's best interests in mind. If that fails get a mediator.
My aunt does this. She's brilliant at it; best step-mom in the world. Solid advice.
11. "Why Women Are Smarter Than Men"
Women score higher in emotional intelligence (EQ) than men, and EQ is critical in suceeding in the work place. To raise your EQ don't drink caffiene and do get more sleep. Don't be too hard on yourself and be grateful for what you have.
On the other hand caffeine is a cognitive booster, so if you want to be slightly more abrasive but have slightly better ideas visit Starbucks. Are women better at relationships? I'll have to look around and see if I can find evidence of that in my daily life. Maybe they are!
12. "In Appreciation: An Open Letter To All The Good Men In The World"
The author is grateful to the men who taught her lessons and brought her to her current high level of relationship happiness. A good man, in her view, is one who:
Will take care of his partner. Will smile, hug, give a back rub, share in the house work. Will call in the middle of the day just to say Hi. Will empower his partner to be all that he/she can be. Will be there for his children, and nurture them to help them be all that they can be. Will be proud if his partner makes more money than he does. He knows the job does not define the man. Will occasionally surprise his partner, in a good way. Will make plans for the future, both long and short term. Will listen, hear and understands with his heart. Will protect his partner, and family. Will serenade his partner. Will sit and let his partner cry it out, or stamp his/her feet until it is all out. Will have done some of his work, and will be there for his partner while they work through their own stuff. Will build things, fix things, invent things. Will have his own life, his own hobbies, his own sense of worth. Will not depend on his partner for his financial life or his emotional life, now [sic] will he want his partner to be his reason for living.
Source
Here's where I fall short, according to the author: making plans for the future, listening, serenading, and sitting and letting her cry it out. She lists twenty-six standards, and I meet twenty-two of them. Not bad! I wonder of my partner would give me 22/26? Perhaps I've just deluded myself.
I'd like to see a list of characteristics of the ideal woman from this author. She must be pretty spectacular to land this sort of guy.
So there you have it! I agreed with some things and disagreed with others. As Seneca says, all good ideas are public property, so I'll take the good and leave the bad.
All in all I was pleasantly surprised. This is an interesting site. I'll be back.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Opinion and Shame
I've stated here that I'm a cultural libertarian. I've been viewing sites that support this belief. I worry that I might be getting carried away, though. I worry that I might be entering an echo chamber.
I've been trapped in an echo chamber before. I've lacked all perspective, but to people on the outside it was obvious.
I've been trapped in an echo chamber before. I've lacked all perspective, but to people on the outside it was obvious.
Both sides, the authoritarians pushing PC culture and the cultural libertarians, snipe at each other. I'm not above the fray myself, at least not in my mind. I try to be very careful of what I publish here (for the consideration of my ten regular readers) but in private I seem to take great pleasure in the other side's missteps.
That's not Stoic. Probably a better view would be to treat the other side with kindness and do what I can to bring them around, because ultimately I think that liberty brings more happiness than dogma.
Well then, isn't my duty to bring this insight to the general public? A Stoic serves his* city, right?
If I were to become more vocal, and if (against all odds) I gained a wide audience, I would risk saying the wrong thing and incurring public shame. These days that's not an inconsiderable thing.
I'm lucky, I suppose, that my opinion means very little. I'm one in a chorus of millions. Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and especially Cato led very public lives and their decisions are still discussed. Aurelius paid for the security of his empire with his health. Seneca and Cato killed themselves. Cato (who was unwilling to live in a world ruled by a tyrant) met an especially difficult end (source):
"Cato did not immediately die of the wound; but struggling, fell off the bed, and throwing down a little mathematical table that stood by, made such a noise that the servants, hearing it, cried out. And immediately his son and all his friends came into the chamber, where, seeing him lie weltering in his own blood, great part of his bowels out of his body, but himself still alive and able to look at them, they all stood in horror. The physician went to him, and would have put in his bowels, which were not pierced, and sewed up the wound; but Cato, recovering himself, and understanding the intention, thrust away the physician, plucked out his own bowels, and tearing open the wound, immediately expired."
That's a heavy price to pay for a political opinion, self-imposed though it was. I certainly wouldn't have to do that.
I do censor myself online for fear of retribution, though, and I bet you do too.
If I ever do incur the wrath of an online which hunt I plan to use Jon Ronson's advice. He's written a book called "So You've Been Publicly Shamed." He recently did an interview with GQ in which he discusses the public shaming phenomenon, and I think it's worth a read. My favorite quote neatly sums up the dangers of our new shame culture:
"It’s very destructive to society and I think it’s created a conformist, conservative, fearful surveillance society, like the Stasi, and nobody wants to live in a Stasi state, and that’s the world we’re quite literally living in. I really don’t think I’m overreaching when I say that."
I agree.
*I wince as I type this. Do I go with the classical "his?" Do I use the clumsy and grammatically aberrant "their?" How about the limp, insipid "his or her?" Or I could go postmodern with "his/her?" Perhaps the Swedish gender neutral "hen?" Maybe "xe?"
If I ever do incur the wrath of an online which hunt I plan to use Jon Ronson's advice. He's written a book called "So You've Been Publicly Shamed." He recently did an interview with GQ in which he discusses the public shaming phenomenon, and I think it's worth a read. My favorite quote neatly sums up the dangers of our new shame culture:
"It’s very destructive to society and I think it’s created a conformist, conservative, fearful surveillance society, like the Stasi, and nobody wants to live in a Stasi state, and that’s the world we’re quite literally living in. I really don’t think I’m overreaching when I say that."
I agree.
*I wince as I type this. Do I go with the classical "his?" Do I use the clumsy and grammatically aberrant "their?" How about the limp, insipid "his or her?" Or I could go postmodern with "his/her?" Perhaps the Swedish gender neutral "hen?" Maybe "xe?"
Saturday, December 5, 2015
Cultural Libertarianism
I've been enjoying Dave Rubin's "Rubin Report." Check out his guiding rules; if the media in general adopted these we would all have a much clearer picture of the world around us. Anyway, he has a theory that the next great political movement will be cultural libertarianism.
I hope so. For me the old "conservative" and "liberal" labels don't apply. I'm a mix of those. The idea that there are authoritarian forces brewing and that those forces should be opposed, though... that I can get on board with.
So I'm a cultural libertarian.
Here is Christina Hoff Sommers on the subject:
My favorite quotes:
"What unites us as Americans, maybe Westerners too, is a love of freedom."
"Right now sort of the bullies have the upper hand, so it's going to be a battle to take the power away from them and give it to where it belongs, to people who are nice, respectful of other people, and who realize that people have different opinions and that's OK, and not to be policing. I don't want these authoritarians here who say they can make the rules... your arguments for censorship and doing away with due process are not going to work. They have been tried before, with unhappy results, so read some history."
I hope so. For me the old "conservative" and "liberal" labels don't apply. I'm a mix of those. The idea that there are authoritarian forces brewing and that those forces should be opposed, though... that I can get on board with.
So I'm a cultural libertarian.
Here is Christina Hoff Sommers on the subject:
My favorite quotes:
"What unites us as Americans, maybe Westerners too, is a love of freedom."
"Right now sort of the bullies have the upper hand, so it's going to be a battle to take the power away from them and give it to where it belongs, to people who are nice, respectful of other people, and who realize that people have different opinions and that's OK, and not to be policing. I don't want these authoritarians here who say they can make the rules... your arguments for censorship and doing away with due process are not going to work. They have been tried before, with unhappy results, so read some history."
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
President Obama Defends Free Speech
"...being a good citizen... involves hearing the other side and making sure that you are engaging in a dialogue."
On the "certain strain of militant political correctness" sweeping college campuses the President says "And I disagree with that."
"That's a recipe for dogmatism, and I think you're not going to be as effective."
"The purpose of that kind of free speech is to make sure that we are forced to use argument and reason and words in making our democracy work. You don't have to be fearful of somebody spouting bad ideas; just out argue them. Beat 'em. Make the case as to why they're wrong. Win over adherents. That's how things work in a democracy. And I do worry if young people start getting trained to think that 'if somebody says something I don't like... if somebody says something that hurts my feelings that my only recourse is to shut them up, avoid them, push them away, call on a higher power to protect me from that..."
"You're not going to make the kinds of deep changes in society that those students want without taking them on in a full, clear and courageous way."
Well said, Mr. President!
On the "certain strain of militant political correctness" sweeping college campuses the President says "And I disagree with that."
"That's a recipe for dogmatism, and I think you're not going to be as effective."
"The purpose of that kind of free speech is to make sure that we are forced to use argument and reason and words in making our democracy work. You don't have to be fearful of somebody spouting bad ideas; just out argue them. Beat 'em. Make the case as to why they're wrong. Win over adherents. That's how things work in a democracy. And I do worry if young people start getting trained to think that 'if somebody says something I don't like... if somebody says something that hurts my feelings that my only recourse is to shut them up, avoid them, push them away, call on a higher power to protect me from that..."
"You're not going to make the kinds of deep changes in society that those students want without taking them on in a full, clear and courageous way."
Well said, Mr. President!
Sunday, November 22, 2015
FIRE
I'm not for hate speech, but I am for free speech. As far as I can tell this organization, the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education, is bipartisan and really lives out its principles.
You ought to be able to say unorthodox things on a college campus. Face the social consequences, sure, but things have gone to far. That's obvious.
Trigger warnings... I hope my sons never feel pressured to offer trigger warnings.
You ought to be able to say unorthodox things on a college campus. Face the social consequences, sure, but things have gone to far. That's obvious.
Trigger warnings... I hope my sons never feel pressured to offer trigger warnings.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
The Stoicism of Shaun King
Brietbart, a conservative news publication, ran a story in August outing Black Lives Matter activist Shaun King as a White man. I remember the story and at the time I didn't really question it. I thought that he was a bit shady and a bit of a con artist and then I thought about it no more. How wrong I was!
Turns out that Mr. King is biracial (a simple Google Image search will tell you that). The name on his birth certificate is not the name of his genetic father.
His response to the accusation is positively nobel. If I am ever falsely accused of anything I hope that I can muster half the dignity that this young gentleman displays. It's an excellent essay and it's a good example of the use of reason and evidence in the face of a witch hunt.
He's not a Stoic with a capital "S," but his response, I think, fits very well with the tenets of our philosophy.
Well done, Mr. King. I admire you.
11/7/2015 Update: Now it looks like a number of his followers have concerns about his high school story, his reorganization of his coalition, and his use of donated funds. I very much hope that these accusations are baseless. Is this a hatchet job or the truth coming out?
It's on twitter... #shaunkingletmedown
Oh well. This will teach me to dabble in politics!
Turns out that Mr. King is biracial (a simple Google Image search will tell you that). The name on his birth certificate is not the name of his genetic father.
His response to the accusation is positively nobel. If I am ever falsely accused of anything I hope that I can muster half the dignity that this young gentleman displays. It's an excellent essay and it's a good example of the use of reason and evidence in the face of a witch hunt.
He's not a Stoic with a capital "S," but his response, I think, fits very well with the tenets of our philosophy.
Well done, Mr. King. I admire you.
11/7/2015 Update: Now it looks like a number of his followers have concerns about his high school story, his reorganization of his coalition, and his use of donated funds. I very much hope that these accusations are baseless. Is this a hatchet job or the truth coming out?
It's on twitter... #shaunkingletmedown
Oh well. This will teach me to dabble in politics!
Monday, October 12, 2015
Stoicism And The Red Pill
Do men and women think differently?
I don't know. Maybe. Does it matter? We all have a frontal lobe. We can all resist biology.
We design ways of viewing the world, and these ways are imperfect. Does sexism exist? I think so. Can Feminism be carried to undesirable extremes? Absolutely.
We are given the faculty of reason, and if more of us use it perhaps the "isms" of the world will recede into the background and we can just be decent to each other. I think that's the way it will go, actually. Well, except for Stoicism. I'll keep that one.
I don't know. Maybe. Does it matter? We all have a frontal lobe. We can all resist biology.
We design ways of viewing the world, and these ways are imperfect. Does sexism exist? I think so. Can Feminism be carried to undesirable extremes? Absolutely.
We are given the faculty of reason, and if more of us use it perhaps the "isms" of the world will recede into the background and we can just be decent to each other. I think that's the way it will go, actually. Well, except for Stoicism. I'll keep that one.
Monday, October 5, 2015
Am I A Modern Man? A Stoic Takes A Quiz
The New York Times recently ran a list of qualifications for the would-be "modern man." The internet has collectively (and gleefully) heaved it into the dustbin of op ed history, but I think it would be fun to attempt a dispassionate self-test... It seems standard to reprint the list and then eviscerate the author point by point, so I'll follow suit without the snark [Edit: there's still snark]. Off we go:
1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.
I cannot imagine wasting my time doing this, and neither can she. She's a grown-up; she can buy her own shoes. I'll buy flowers and jewelry instead.
2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.
Actually I can get behind this. In essence "the modern man" isn't a whiner. I find that if I refuse to wallow in self-pity my life seems to go better. This thought is within spitting distance of Stoicism.
3. The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.
I've done this, except I've done it with nachos.
4. The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.
I won't leave meat on the table, but I prefer not to eat the fat. That said, perhaps eating the fat is more respectful to the animal that died to nourish me. Doing something unpleasant out of a sense of gratitude could be Stoic. I'll think about this one.
5. The modern man won’t blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.
Agreed! Besides, I could use the exercise. Well said!
6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.
If they had to go a day without electronics it wouldn't be the worst thing that ever happened to them. Besides, that's their job. Natural consequences, Lombardi...
7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.
Soda is poison. I think the modern man is better off drinking iced tea or water.
8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.
I like proper language, but I also like to say "fridge" instead of "refrigerator." Looks like I'm not modern.
9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.
Alas, having only sons, I must remain incomplete.
10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.
Or he could use a dish towel... I think it probably takes more discipline to use a dish towel.
11. The modern man has never “pinned” a tweet, and he never will.
I don't know what that means. The modern man has never stabbed a bird? Then I qualify!
12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.
Personally I mash all the soap shreds into a little ball and carry on until it dissolves to nothing. Then I use shampoo instead. Once every three months I'll remember to throw a new bar in. I think I fail on this one.
13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.
I was prepared to scoff, but this ain't half bad. It's jazzy. I'm not going to schedule Wu Tang time, but I like it. Half credit for me!
14. The modern man still jots down his grocery list on a piece of scratch paper. The market is no place for his face to be buried in the phone.
The market is the perfect place to bury one's head in a phone. I like to listen to podcasts while I shop. It's a mindless task and everybody in the store wants to get done as quickly as possible. Nobody wants to be there, Lombardi. Well, maybe they do at Whole Foods, but I shop at Winco.
15. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.
I have neither hardwood flooring or Kenneth Cole Oxfords. If I did I would not be inclined to develop some sort of stamping code to convey my mood. That seems overly complicated. I prefer to say "Daddy's irritated, so forgive him if he snaps."
16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.
She's closer to the door. If an intruder gets in she'll provide token resistance while I find the pepper spray. Every war has its casualties, Lombardi.
17. Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?
What is a melon baller? I chop it with a knife... it's never uniformly shaped.
18. The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.
Picture him bent over his Kenneth Cole oxfords, lost in thought. "Nah," he finally murmurs. "Not today." I'll pass, Lombardi. I'll pass.
19. The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.
Absolutely! And make sure her coworkers see them. That's the point of flowers.
20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.
Death first! That's a bridge too far, Lombardi! I'll curl into the fetal position and hide in the woods like a wounded deer, but I won't be the little spoon. Clearly I'm not as Stoic as I thought I was...
21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.
This one is like the shoehorn. There he is, at the breakfast table, covered in snot and apple donut. "Nah," he murmers to himself. "I'm gonna let this one slide." It's not like she could help it, Lombardi. Is the modern man a sociopath?
22. The modern man still ambles half-naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper.
That's just lazy. You're just rationalizing sloth. I've done it, but I'm not proud of it. Still, full credit!
23. The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time).
I don't know who that is and I don't own any Blu-rays.
24. The modern man doesn’t get hung up on his phone’s battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it.
The essence of Stoicism distilled to a single sentence.
25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
I own several and I don't even shoot. They reproduce in the garage. Last year two of my shotguns had a bouncy baby pistol. I have no use for them, though, so I'll give myself half credit.
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.
I have not cried since I saw Last of the Mohicans in 1992. I hope that wasn't a Michael Mann film. I'm gonna feel pretty stupid if it was.
27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.
People are certain that I'm not a good dancer.
So I score 7.5 out of 27. I'm not an Australopithecus, but I'm certainly not modern.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
A Baltimore Cop Lays It All Out
Joe Rogan recently interviewed Michael A. Wood, an ex police officer from Baltimore, Maryland. Wood is totally honest. Whether you agree with him or not he is speaking the truth as he sees it. It's very brave. Very self-reflective.
He says this of walking through Black neighborhoods off duty: "When you go through the city, it's not at all what you think it is... it's not like things were chaos in the neighborhood; ladies are sweeping their steps. But the neighborhood changes once you have that uniform and those lights and you are now the authority."
He seems to want to change the world by first questioning his own impressions. Pretty Stoic.
That said, I am a mere consumer of information. I don't know the whole story down there and I can't pretend to.
Check it out here.
He says this of walking through Black neighborhoods off duty: "When you go through the city, it's not at all what you think it is... it's not like things were chaos in the neighborhood; ladies are sweeping their steps. But the neighborhood changes once you have that uniform and those lights and you are now the authority."
He seems to want to change the world by first questioning his own impressions. Pretty Stoic.
That said, I am a mere consumer of information. I don't know the whole story down there and I can't pretend to.
Check it out here.
Friday, July 10, 2015
A Little Boy With Nothing Giving A Millionaire His Phone Back
It starts at minute 4:00...
Russell Brand is distributing chocolate in a slum (which he admits might be tasteless and ego gratifying) when a kid steals his Iphone. Another kid brings it back and refuses any reward. That is virtue.
Russell Brand is distributing chocolate in a slum (which he admits might be tasteless and ego gratifying) when a kid steals his Iphone. Another kid brings it back and refuses any reward. That is virtue.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Hipster Irony
I'd like to develop my thoughts on hipsterism a bit further. In my last essay I described an encounter with hipsters in which I found that some self-reflection allowed me to abandon my own insecurity and appreciate them for what they were. I even admitted to displaying a certain amount of hipster aesthetic. I'm not a hipster myself, though. One stark difference between us remains: they value irony more than sincerity. I don't.
We live in an ironic age, we are told. One aspect of modern irony is self-deprecation. We make fun of ourselves. Why? According to Christy Wampole (How to Live Without Irony) we do so to preempt criticism. We do it out of fear.
"Take, for example, an ad that calls itself an ad, makes fun of its own format, and attempts to lure its target market to laugh at and with it. It pre-emptively acknowledges its own failure to accomplish anything meaningful. No attack can be set against it, as it has already conquered itself. The ironic frame functions as a shield against criticism. The same goes for ironic living. Irony is the most self-defensive mode, as it allows a person to dodge responsibility for his or her choices, aesthetic and otherwise. To live ironicly is to hide in public."
I think that there's something to this. We insult ourselves before other people can. If we produce something sincere on a social media platform and people mock us it stings because they are mocking who we are. If we present ourselves as clownish figures, though, we preempt their mockery with our own. We are in on the joke. It's safer. We risk less. Isn't this a species of cowardice?
Wampole's essay is excellent, and I think that she is right to be suspicious of irony, but she misses a very important aspect of hipster culture: authenticity.
One of the great hallmarks of hipster culture is the rejection of consumerism. Hipsters shun the cheap and instant. Why do hipsters spend $200 on jeans made from antique looms in Japan? Because those are the REAL thing. That's what jeans are supposed to be. People put effort into them. People cared about them. That smacks of... sincerity.
In her essay Wampole pokes fun at trombone playing hipsters. Fair enough; it seems a little odd, but let me tell you, anybody who gets decent at the trombone is sincere. They may laugh about it with their friends, they may play it off as a quirky hobby, but they are absolutely sincere. Learning an instrument takes discipline and commitment. There's no irony to be mined there.
Why learn the trombone at all? So that you can pull it out, play something jaunty for twenty seconds and then have a laugh with your friends? No. Hipsters learn to play trombone because the trombone is real in a way that Rhianna is not. I've seen hipster brass bands playing on street corners; they mean it. Complement their playing and their eyes shine with pride.
What I see in the hipster movement is a looking back to some of the things we've lost as a culture. We used to make things with our hands. We used to pay real money for real craftsmanship. Life was slower. Hipsters were raised in a fast-paced consumerist wonderland where everything is available on demand, instantly. They crave something more meaningful.
Consider some evidence Jonathan Fitzgerald's counter argument to Wampole:
"All across the pop culture spectrum, the emphasis on sincerity and authenticity that has arisen has made it un-ironically cool to care about spirituality, family, neighbors, the environment, and the country. And pollsters find this same trend in the up-and-coming generation from which Wampole culls her hipsters, Millennials. A recent Knights of Columbus-Marist Poll survey found that among Millennials, six out of 10 prioritized being close to God and having a good family life above anything else. For those in Generation X, family was still important, but the second priority was not spirituality—it was making a lot of money. Clearly, a change has been underway."
Now, do hipsters present themselves with a bit of irony? Absolutely. If you're going to twist your mustache into waxed handlebars then you're going to stand out from the dominant culture, and irony is a serviceable defense mechanism. But behind the irony stands a deeper ethic: sincerity.
And let us remember that sincerity doesn't automatically mean "good." Take the classic example from the 80's megahit Wall Street, in which Gordon Gekko tells us that greed is good. It's supposed to be a cautionary tale, but people adopted it as a mantra:
There's no irony to be found there! He's completely sincere. That slicked-back hair is the predatory embodiment of a shark's fins. Those power shoulders are meant to intimidate.
I'll take hipster irony over yuppie sincerity any day, friends.
Thanks to Greg Milner for linking to Wampole's essay. I found inspiration in a counter argument to that essay by Jonathan Fitzgerald. Read Mr. Fitzgerald's work here.
One of the great hallmarks of hipster culture is the rejection of consumerism. Hipsters shun the cheap and instant. Why do hipsters spend $200 on jeans made from antique looms in Japan? Because those are the REAL thing. That's what jeans are supposed to be. People put effort into them. People cared about them. That smacks of... sincerity.
In her essay Wampole pokes fun at trombone playing hipsters. Fair enough; it seems a little odd, but let me tell you, anybody who gets decent at the trombone is sincere. They may laugh about it with their friends, they may play it off as a quirky hobby, but they are absolutely sincere. Learning an instrument takes discipline and commitment. There's no irony to be mined there.
Why learn the trombone at all? So that you can pull it out, play something jaunty for twenty seconds and then have a laugh with your friends? No. Hipsters learn to play trombone because the trombone is real in a way that Rhianna is not. I've seen hipster brass bands playing on street corners; they mean it. Complement their playing and their eyes shine with pride.
What I see in the hipster movement is a looking back to some of the things we've lost as a culture. We used to make things with our hands. We used to pay real money for real craftsmanship. Life was slower. Hipsters were raised in a fast-paced consumerist wonderland where everything is available on demand, instantly. They crave something more meaningful.
Consider some evidence Jonathan Fitzgerald's counter argument to Wampole:
"All across the pop culture spectrum, the emphasis on sincerity and authenticity that has arisen has made it un-ironically cool to care about spirituality, family, neighbors, the environment, and the country. And pollsters find this same trend in the up-and-coming generation from which Wampole culls her hipsters, Millennials. A recent Knights of Columbus-Marist Poll survey found that among Millennials, six out of 10 prioritized being close to God and having a good family life above anything else. For those in Generation X, family was still important, but the second priority was not spirituality—it was making a lot of money. Clearly, a change has been underway."
Now, do hipsters present themselves with a bit of irony? Absolutely. If you're going to twist your mustache into waxed handlebars then you're going to stand out from the dominant culture, and irony is a serviceable defense mechanism. But behind the irony stands a deeper ethic: sincerity.
And let us remember that sincerity doesn't automatically mean "good." Take the classic example from the 80's megahit Wall Street, in which Gordon Gekko tells us that greed is good. It's supposed to be a cautionary tale, but people adopted it as a mantra:
There's no irony to be found there! He's completely sincere. That slicked-back hair is the predatory embodiment of a shark's fins. Those power shoulders are meant to intimidate.
I'll take hipster irony over yuppie sincerity any day, friends.
* * *
Thanks to Greg Milner for linking to Wampole's essay. I found inspiration in a counter argument to that essay by Jonathan Fitzgerald. Read Mr. Fitzgerald's work here.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
The Hipster And The Stoic
There's a new coffee bar where I live called Archive. My wife and I enjoy coffee and we enjoy playing cards in coffee shops, so we walked in and sat down. It was fun. The proprietors have a real eye for detail.
For starters everything looks reclaimed. The walls seem hung with old beams from leather boot factories. There's a very interesting image on the far wall made out of thread wound around nails. I looked around before I poked it. Nice tension; quality craftsmanship.
Then there are the barristas, who look a lot like civil war veterans. Their beards are long and well kempt, and the whitewalled sides of their heads grow into slick-backed demi-pompadours. Jeans are made of selvage denim and cuffed. Footwear looks like something paratroopers strapped up before jumping over Normandy. Sleeves are rolled and suspenders bring it all together.
They're very friendly and they know what they're talking about when it comes to coffee. They view themselves as artisans, and the product justifies that view.
We enjoyed it.
Still, nagging at the back of my brain, a small voice kept saying "poseurs."
Why? Why did I feel a need to judge these very kind, sincere people?
One of the great benefits of Stoicism is that it cultivates an ability to separate oneself from one's thoughts and examine them from the outside. I think this is what Seneca means when he says:
"What progress have I made? I am beginning to be my own friend.’ That is progress indeed. Such a people will never be alone and you may be sure he is a friend to all."
First, I felt a little threatened. Hipsters often present as intellectuals. Sometimes it's a calculated pose, but in my experience it's often not. Often they really are people who read and think. They're into alternative lifestyles and alternative philosophies... What if they know something that I don't? What if they're smarter?
A number of them definitely are smarter. Isn't that good? Engaging in conversation with a smart person who knows something that I don't should be improving, not threatening. I have a feeling that a number of young Stoics I interact with online might fit into the hipster category. We're all reviving a nearly extinct philosophy, after all. That's pretty fringe.
I find that these young Stoics really know their stuff. They're often not weighed down by family and career in the same way that I am. They have time to think. When I listen to them and offer them friendship we both benefit. When I refute them and offer sarcasm neither of us benefit.
So feeling threatened by hipsters is not a worthy thought. Moving on...
Second, I felt out of place. I didn't belong. I didn't dress like them, for starters. I keep a short beard and I wear those sort of 60's style glasses because those are about the only kind you can get anymore, but I was just wearing some old leather shoes, battered jeans and an old button up shirt... hang on...
There I am in a beard and horned rimmed glasses sipping fair-trade yirgacheffe coffee and playing cards with my wife on a reclaimed work bench while people talk about art and philosophy all around me...
Am I a hipster?
Does it matter? Maybe a good cup of coffee is just a good cup of coffee, and good conversation is just good conversation. Maybe choosing to think this way will make me more of a friend to all.
* * *
I release the above picture into the public domain, because that's the kind of guy I am. This one's for you, StoicBeCuz.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Stop When You're Comfortable
Gluttony is a vice. I believe this. I believe that a virtuous person is not a glutton.
I'm a glutton.
I started overeating in the sixth grade. I remember that grade very well; it's when I realised that there were cool kids and uncool kids, and I was in the latter category. Or rather I thought that I was. Turns out thinking a thing like that tends to influence reality, rather than the other way around. Anyway...
I dealt with it by overeating. Why overeating? People who specialize in food addiction tell us that it's the dopamine. When you eat a piece of fruit or meat your brain releases a moderate amount of dopamine to reward you for feeding your body. When you eat a candy bar your body dumps dopamine into your system as a super reward for finding a rare high-calorie treat.
Problem is that, in the past, finding a high calorie treat meant raiding a bee hive. Nowadays it involves swiping a plastic card.
I had a handle on the overeating thing for awhile, but in times of stress I revert. I'm in a stressful situation now and I'm reverting. I eat past the point of comfort. I eat until I'm NOT comfortable. It actually hurts.
"First decide what you would be; then do what you have to do."
I would be a man in control of his appetites. How to do that?
Authority Nutrition has a post describing food addiction. It details how the brain becomes tolerant of dopamine and how breaking the addictive cycle means that there will be a withdrawal process. I've been "withdrawing" for three days now, and I don't feel anything, but I do think that there's something to this idea of dopamine use. Why else would I eat to the point of discomfort?
The idea that we can become "addicted" to food seems silly at first glance. It seems like psychobabble designed to reinforce the idea that we are all victims. When I think like this, though, what I'm really doing is worrying that I am weak, that if I submit myself to this it will chip away at my confidence.
So when I think about overeating I will remind myself that I'm craving dopamine. I'll do something else. Pushups are good; writing is good. Yoga is good. These are positive uses of time. How good does soda taste, anyway? Tastes salty and rusty.
Look, if overeating is an addictive process then it is. If it is simply a bad habit then it is. I can worry about my confidence or I can do something about it. I can worry about what YOU, gentle reader, will think of me and my weakness or I can accept that I am a flawed human being and I can improve myself.
I will cheerfully confront my problem and defeat it with a glad heart. Or not. Maybe I'll white-knuckle it and fail a hundred times before I beat it, and then appreciate my victory later. It is what it is. The main thing is that I don't want to be a glutton anymore.
First decide what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
* * *
Public domain image courtesy of the New York Public Library
Post Script: Step 1 is to cut out sugar... No soda, no sugar in my coffee (yes I'm addicted to coffee... one at a time, people, one at a time)
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